He's not joking.

So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who were pledged to marry his daughters. He said, “Hurry and get out of this place, because the Lord is about to destroy the city!” But his sons-in-law thought he was joking.

Genesis 19:14 - God was not joking then, and He is not joking now.

She's a bit of a tyrant....

ty·rant

   /ˈtaɪrənt/ Show Spelled[tahy-ruhnt] Show IPA

noun

1.  a sovereign or other ruler who uses power oppressively or unjustly.

2. any person in a position of authority who exercises power oppressively or despotically.

3. a tyrannical or compulsory influence.

4. an absolute ruler, especially one in ancient Greece or Sicily.

 

 

on writing....

My fingertips rest in their spot on the keyboard.  I must will them to move.  I know I'm a writer because I suffer the worst writer's block ever.  You see, if I write something down, someone will read it, and then will come the ridicule for thinking my own thoughts and having feelings of my own.  Why am I struggling so?  Are those that would ridicule finally gone?  Their presence remains right here in my head.  Their voices have not been silenced in my heart.  The time has come to speak over them and to erase what their words have written on the tablet of my heart.

Proverbs 3:3
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

processing

My niece killed herself on Tuesday. She was 33 - my step-sister's youngest daughter. She'd been walking the path of self-destruction for many years. The signs were all there but no one stepped in to intervene. Were we meant to? My heart aches in a way that cannot be described. She didn't tell anyone, and she left no message for those she left behind. She just didn't want to live any more, so she made sure she succeeded this time by putting a bullet in her chest as she drifted off. Six years ago, she took way too many pills and wasn't found until it was nearly too late. Her lips and fingers were blue so she was barely breathing when they found her. She convinced us then that it was an accidental overdose and not a suicide attempt. Obviously she had been suicidal for a long time, and none of us realized or considered it's severity. Are each of us that loved her partially responsible? Perhaps. None of us wanted this for her, but it was something she wanted for herself. If we had known, we surely would have stopped her. I'm sure that's why she didn't tell anyone.

Such sadness. Such a tragic loss.

Matthew 6:14-15

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
~Jesus, The Sermon on the Mount

Fear....

He is my light and my salvation.  Whom have I to fear? ~Jennifer Knapp

Fall 2012

Life is treating me well, and God is good to me. This year has flown by, and I have much more silver in my hair than at this time last year. Proverbs says gray hair is the crown of wisdom so I'm really not complaining.

My son moved back to Arkansas this summer. He's studying at UofA in Fayetteville now. He will be a student of something his entire life, I'm sure. He has turned away from Ayn Rand, thank goodness, but not until after he had read everything she had written and considered it for a while. So now he is working on his PhD in Economics. Still single, but I think that he'd like to find someone. My prayer is that he'll find a sweet Arkansas girl and settle down here.

My daughter's first wedding anniversary was May 28.  The newlyweds are doing well, and I have totally fallen in love with my son-in-law. He's very good to my daughter and her mother. A sweet boy with dimpled cheeks and a good heart. And he is financially responsible which is a rare quality to find in a young man these days, in my opinion. He is a gift from God.

My garden survived the drought this summer, and I have lovely flowers blooming finally, and houseplants all over the place. I'm obsessed. I take what I can to the office each winter because it is warm there and full of light. My house is more like a cave, and I like it that way. It's my hiding place.

Somewhat out of the blue, my second husband is back in my life again. He lives three hours south of me in a rural area called Lonoke. It's east of Little Rock and close enough to the freeway that it's not a long drive to work for him. He's classified as a journeyman in body work, and repairs wrecked big trucks. And he's a member of the Boozefighters Motorcycle Club now. It took him two years to get in, but he did it and he now has the family he was always searching for - and a harley which I will not ride. I'm no biker chick, but I do love Gearhead. So it is what it is for now, and we'll see what lies ahead when we get there.

And then there are Carrie and Charlie, my sweet roommates and protectors. Charlie is my parking lot dog, cuz that's where I found him three years ago. Carrie was a foster rescued from a puppy mill. I flunked on her, and adopted her myself. She had never known human kindness and was terrified of me. Once she grew to trust me, I could not send her away. So she has been here four years. They are BFF's and good company.

So I'm here, ready to curl up in my cave and hibernate for the winter while I watch my plants grow and spend time with my kids whenever I can. I've taken up macrame this summer and am working on plant hangers for the spring. I see cozy winter afternoons ahead, watching old movies and tying knots in jute.

 

Friday can't get here fast enough. I'm gonna try to get myself together enough that I don't have to leave the house all weekend. I'm in desperate need of normalcy. So thankful for my job. And I feel the need for some deep cleaning at home. Hope to have that done before my son comes home. Gives me incentive. Plus if I can get the house in order, I can spend the whole weekend digging in the dirt. Therapy. Necessary for survival.