A new year

2011 is here.  The new year arrived full of fun, laughter and hope of new and exciting things to come - a momentary illusion.  Inevitably the cloud pressed in upon me once again.  Depression.  Sucks.  Three days into the new year and my life has returned to status quo.  Although I know that I am the only one that can change my circumstances, I feel powerless to do so.  Familiarity is comfortable regardless of how uncomfortable it is.  Four days passed and I didn't leave the house.  I haven't been back to church.  My heart is rebellious.  Perhaps this is my wilderness experience?  Or is that just another excuse to stay in my comfort zone though I find no comfort there?