You can say what you think, but you live what you believe. Can I live what I believe? Can I practice what I preach? Do I?
I'm so tired of the never-ending chore of cleaning things.
Ten years have passed since I went crazy. I kinda miss being a little crazy. Rarely do I let my guard down anymore. Feelings hurt so I try not to have any. Any kind of excess of emotion makes me extremely uncomfortable. I don't feel safe enough to allow myself to venture forth from this fortress. Besides, I've spent my life learning to keep my mouth shut and not write anything down. Unless directly asked, I seldom share my opinion. Often I have no opinion at all. Sometimes I'm simply dumbfounded by the things that I have observed and been a witness to.
A decade ago, I was scared to death and running on fear, frightened by what I had opened myself up to. I wasn't up to the task set before me although I had earnestly prayed for it. I had my own vision of how I thought things would be. Reality never lives up to fantasy.
I really must go scrub in the bathroom for a while.
